Floss before you Fap

Make a new rule for yourself: you may only masturbate after you’ve brushed and flossed.

You’re tired, and you just want to fap and sleep? Nope. You can fall asleep right now if you like, but if you want to fap, you have to brush and floss first. You wake up horny and want to quickly sate your lust before you begin the day? Nope, you brush first. And floss.

There are at least three great advantages to this way of living:

1- You will end up brushing and flossing more. Putting a reward behind it will get it done. This will do wonders for your dental hygiene; you will feel and be healthier in the mouth.

2- You will avoid wasted seed. What is “wasted”? I don’t believe this religious bullshit of “every sperm is sacred” – but what I have noticed is that masturbating is extra-good if you haven’t done it in a while. Sometimes, you’ll wake up, feel horny, remember your oath, rise, brush, floss … and no longer feel horny. This is great. You’ve just stored that orgasm, invested it, so your next climax will be extra-powerful. Well done. And really, if your arousal can be deterred by a five minute dental delay, it probably wasn’t going to have been your greatest fap ever.

But this break won’t always stop your arousal. Eventually, it will start to aid it, because –

3- Brushing and flossing will become a Pavlovian stimulus that causes you arousal.

Eventually, the constant and strong association will make dental hygiene an erotic process in your mind. (It will be an extra-salient stimulus, because nothing in your life resembles having bristles thrust into your mouth and vigorously stirred.) This is wonderful – it means that you now have a Pavlovian way to make yourself aroused. You want to have a great time in bed but you’re worried you might not be up to the job? Just brush one out beforehand. You’ll feel the welcome and familiar stirrings in your loins … and, as one final benefit, your lover will get to enjoy your minty fresh breath!

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